We’re having a Christmas in July party. Yankee swap, Christmas decorations, (slutty) elf/Mrs. Claus costumes, and possibly a foam machine or something to simulate snow. Fuck yeah.
My brother will forever and always be my best friend due simply to the fact that it is so unusual to go three days without seeing each other, that it makes perfect sense that he show up at my house at midnight to smoke cigarettes and eat waffles.
- Me: Okay, I'm going to bed.
- Jason: Okay, you have an excellent sleep! Bye bye pooh bear!
- So affectionate when wearing green shoes...
“McDonald’s: You know you’re going to end up here at 2am drunkenly asking for more honey with your chicken nuggets.”
Stop trying to fight it.
I HATE when people say “would of” and “should of” instead of “would’ve” and “should’ve.” You know, the contractions for what you really mean, which is “would have” and “should have.” Replacing “have” with “of” makes absolutely no grammatical sense, you just think that’s what it is because that’s what it sounds like. If you are over the age of ten and you do this, YOU ARE STUPID.
This whole week has been such a good reminder that no matter how much some shit might suck—my job, my debt, etc—that’s not what matters. What matters is going to a club to see my favorite band on a Tuesday, and sitting around the fire, the UFC fights, the breakfast table, with my friends and family. I am so happy with all the decisions I’ve made in the last few months.
There’s something about weeknights in the suburbs
There’s something about me and all my friends
Kings of awkward situations, the plum blossoms are falling
I’m more than happy going down with them
Literally caked in stale beer and sweat.
I don’t think I’ve ever raged that hard. I love The Wonder Years more than anything ever.
If I could go back in time and tell myself anything it would be hey, maybe don’t go to college. That little bit of superiority you might feel is not worth $20,000…
I just love so much about my life right now. I love the people in it, I love where I’m living, I love how every weekend is just a silly drunken haze filled with aforementioned people I love, and I love that I am literally happy everyday. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so positive for so long.
I made a list of all the things I needed to do today but instead I played outside, tried to climb a tree, ate tacos, and watched Parks and Rec. 100% better than the day I had planned.
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately and how they come and go and how that should be okay instead of us trying to hold onto something that maybe doesn’t even exist anymore. I’ve been accused before of “changing” to which I always think, yeah so fucking what. People change and maybe friendships change and evolve and sometimes friendships that were really good at the time are going to go by the wayside simply because you’re not that person anymore or you’re not in that same place anymore and that should actually be okay. Because the test of true friendship isn’t whether you tough it out simply because a few years ago you had some good times, but if you can grow up and change and that doesn’t affect your friendship. If you can stay friends through all the bullshit because you truly enjoy each other.
The only time I really want someone resembling a boyfriend is when I’m in the mood to watch zombie movies or Lord of the Rings and snuggle with someone cute.
House full of friends all night every night. Life has been so good lately.
I am so tired right now. I just want a full day with no obligations. Where I can just sleep all day and watch Flight of the Conchords and when I get tired of being by myself, someone will come over and watch a movie with me.
When I’m looking at diet plans and it says something about “cutting down alcohol” I immediately go, “nope fuck that” and go onto the next one.
Oh and also, I sincerely hope the cop went back to the neighbors that called in the first place like,”What the fuck are you talking about? No one is making noise.”
I love you guys.
I would like to reiterate that it is completely fucking weird that there are people my age who have it all together—preppy little shits with their long-term boyfriends working in an office and having that picture perfect fucking life that everyone is supposed to want, whereas I wake up most Sundays in the outfit I was wearing the night before sometimes with little recollection as to how I managed to make it to my bed.
But I feel like I’m definitely having more fun, so fuck it.
I love my friends because within seconds of saying we’re having a Cinco de Mayo party, everyone is like FUCK YEAH.